From the Beginning...

I've always LOVED cats. Not your typical "awe aren't they cute, I should get one some day" kinda love. Like I REALLY LOVED them. Yes in a somewhat neurotic kinda way, but still totally sane. I remember my first cat, Cassandra Sue. She was a gray tiger & she was mine, alllllllllllll mine.

I've learned as I get older, my memory does me no good. I can't remember what I made for dinner last night, or where I met my best friend for the first time. It saddens me that I don't remember these things, because many are important to me, I just can't remember them. But I still remember the day my Cassandra didn't come home. The visual seems to never escape my mind. I was no more than 7 or 8 years old. She had been missing all day. Yes, back then we let our pets outside. Now you will NEVER find any of our furries roaming freely outside our abode. At this age, I really didn't have a say. So as I'm going through my bedtime ritual, putting the PJ's on, finding my stuffed Snoopy & the other 30 stuffed animals that surrounded me on my canopy, I can't help but pace wondering where she ventured off to. My Dad knew that I wouldn't sleep a wink until I had her safe & sound in my pile of plushies and he would not allow me to worry, so he began his late night search. 

Again because I didn't have much say at that age, I had go to bed.... very unwillingly. I turned off my light & pretended to tuck myself in. Instead I stood by my window watching my father's shadow scour the busy main road we lived on. Due to the tennis court building across the street, I could see all movements from the beaming street lights in the parking lot. 

My heart sank as I saw my father bend over & pick up a dark, lifeless image. It was Cassandra Sue :( She had been struck by a vehicle. I can still feel the devastation as I relive this memory. Even brings tears to my eyes. It took me many years to have another cat, not sure if that was my parent's choice due to my depressed stage from losing Cassie or if I just knew right then that my heart couldn't take that kind of pain ever again. Or so I thought.

♥ RIP Cassandra Sue.